Checkup with the Surgeon

I hadn't seen Dr. M., the colorectal surgeon, since he did my biopsy back in May: The Biopsy
It was time to see him again. Dr. Who had suggested to me that the surgeon would be able to get a good look inside, using the 'illuminated dildo', to see if the tumor was really gone and to do any necessary biopsy follow-ups.
Dr. M did examine me, but only on the outside. He said it didn't look like I was ready for any probing exams with the anoscope. There was still the results of the radiation burns in. The odd protuberances that Dr. Who thought were hemmoroids, were just more trauma from treatment. He told me to keep on using the silvadene for the burns and to use lidocaine too for the pain.
I had wanted to have the exam, to know if everything had worked as promised. But I also was very relieved NOT to have it, cause yeah, there IS a lot of pain still.