Painkiller, Part 4: Finding Lethe

Let's finish up this crazy subject. Having determined that what I really wanted was something to help me sleep, I called my chemo doc: Doctor Illyass. He ordered an Ambien generic for me. At first I was thrilled with it. I took half a dose and went right to sleep. But after a few days I realized that there was something peculiar about it. I would sleep exactly 6 hours and then wake up. Not a minute more nor less. I was sleepy! So I took a whole dose. Then I slept exactly 7 hours. And suddenly I became quite depressed and ANGRY. Very angry. Whether it was from the lack of sleep or the Ambien I didn't know or care. I stopped the Ambien.
Luckily I had an appointment scheduled with Dr. Illyass. And happily, he told me that I could use Melatonin, which I had used successfully before treatment. I had had to stop it during treatment because it is a sort of hormone.
I was thrilled. That night I took my dose and sweet sweet Lethe received me in her arms. Yes, I know what you are about to say, Lethe is the goddess of forgetfullness, not sleep. But she's always been my go-to goddess for getting to sleep. Here we sit on the edge of the river of the same name. Sweet Lethe!!!!!

Painkillers, Part 3: Alternatives

I was desperate to find some alternative to painkillers. Almost all of them seem to cause constipation, which would mean 'playing around' to find the right combo that wouldn't leave me seesawing between diarrhea and constipation. I really didn't feel up to all that and I realized that my main problem was sleep. During the day, I didn't use any painkillers because being active, even just reading or watching TV, was enough of a distraction. But once I was in bed, I was alone with my pains and even though they weren't huge, they did keep me awake.
Voila! I thought of marijuana. Besides fun, it's mainly used for nausea, but there were reports that it dulled pain. I won't say where I got it from, but a couple of joints were donated to me. THANKS!!
I did try it. First off, even not inhaling deeply, it really burned up my lungs and throat. Laying in bed afterwards, my throat hurt more than my butt. But after awhile, all the pain did go away. So it was working!!!
Sort of....but I was left in this fugue state, not really asleep, just sort of comatose.
"Do you feel like laughing?", I asked myself. The answer was no. "Do you feel hungry?". Again: no. Just laying there, unable to sleep, albeit painfree.
Somehow, this wasn't working either. Hopefully, Part 4 will be the end of my quest for pain relief AND sleep.